Thứ Hai, 29 tháng 3, 2010

WHAT MAKE YOU HAPPY

Have you ever wondered what the key ingredients to happiness are?This is a great question that people have been wondering for ages.Happiness is not so hard to find but it is not also easy to have.So what is the happiness which every one always want to have?In our life,there are many things give us happiness such as family,friends,the fame,the freedom...To me,family,the love and money always make me happy so much.
The first important thing makes me happy is my family.Family is the firm clutch to me in every situations.I love my family and always think about it because it is the place where I was born and brought up.My parents always take care of me carefully and give me all their love.Every members in family always support me when I need a helping hand.Family share in my joy and help me shoulder the burden of sorrow.Thinking of my family,I am very happy and try my best to do everything better.
One more important thing makes me happy is the love.The Love makes my life more interesting and beautiful.People say that "We can not touch the love but we can feel the sweetness which the love is pouring into our heart","Love is giving,not receiving".And I have a sweet love like that.I met my sweetheart the first time two years ago.At that time, we are just good friends.His first impression to me is his humour.He made me laugh a lot and very happy.And we fall in love for twenty months.It is very lucky to me to have an intelligent and humourous lover.He is always beside me when I am happy or sad.He offers a supportive ear when I need someone and share me everything in life.He always gives me useful advices in my studying,relationship between friends and comunication.He is not only a real friend or a brother but also a clutch for me to overcome dificulties.I am vey happy when I think of him.The Love is a wonderful present for life and he is a wonderful gift the life gives me.
Money also makes me happy because if I have a lot of money,I can buy everything I want and make my dream come true easier.Most of us want to be rich,to have much money.Money helps me live comfortablely without worrying about financial to focus on my studying or my researching so I can succeed in life.If I were rich,I could buy beautiful laptop,expensive car,villa,presents to my family or my friends.Moreover,I have a dream that I can travell all over the world so money can help me to make my dream come true.Besides, I can do charity,build houses for the homeless and the pour,I can devote more and more to my society with my large amout of money.I can not live comfortable without money so money is one of things make me happy.
There are many things in life make me happy but family,the love and money are things make me happy.I always try my best to keep my happiness.But I also tell myself that being grateful for what I have can definitely promote happiness.

2 nhận xét:

  1. the thesis statement is ok.However if we add some adj before the noun such as warm family,sweet love,and a lot of money,the thesis statement will be better.also ,in the body parwgraph,some details are not clear because you do not explain the reason why family and love make you happy.

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  2. INTRODUCTION (2ms)
    - Background, hook 0.7
    - Thesis statement 0.7
    BODY (4.5ms)
    - Good ideas 1.7
    - Coherence, unity, development 1.5
    - Language: Grammar, vocabulary (1.6)
    CONCLUSION (2ms)
    - Summarize (0.7)
    - Lesson, suggestions (0.7)
    Total: 7.7

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